what I learned from my first solo trip
solo trip diaries part. 1
Hi friends,
I wished this newsletter was about how I went trekking in Nepal.
It was supposed to be an adventure of a lifetime.
But long story short, we decided to cancel the trip last minute due to unfortunate circumstances (thanks to climate change).
I was absolutely devastated and frustrated. But instead of moping too much, I took the opportunity to go on my first solo trip!
I originally thought this was not in the cards this year. However, since I was desperate to not waste the time I originally carved out for this trip — I frantically planned a 7 day itinerary in Korea within 2 days.
I’m thankful that I did, because this trip was probably one of the most meaningful trips I’ve ever been on - and everything I hoped it would be.
Over the years, I spent a lot of time researching and talking to people about solo travelling, since I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to do it.
Watching solo trip vlogs or reading articles/blogs were so helpful in convincing me that it is even possible to try.
By documenting all of this, I hope to show that if I can then you can too.
This is part 1 in my 3-part series on solo travel:
Part 1: What I learned from my first solo trip
Part 2: How to solo travel and feel safe!
Part 3: Unexpected joys and struggles from solo travel (aka stories from my solo trip)
Part 1: What I learned from my solo trip
Before I went on this trip, or even before I set this as a goal for this year, I was already picturing the person I was going to become after it.
To me, the idea of solo travel made promises that were so grand.
So grand that I tried to hold myself back from setting too many unrealistic expectations.
It will be life-changing.
You will stop feeling lonely.
You will gain more confidence in yourself.
The self-growth-obsessed part of me was so desperate to make this all a reality.
So desperate that I also questioned how much of it is was about me showing other people that I can do it — rather than me genuinely wanting to do this.
After grappling with this, I think it was a mixture of both and that is okay.
I'd rather go and learn something than not go just because I may not be driven by the purest intentions.
Now that I'm reflecting on what I just experienced, I wanted to share how some of the 'promises' of self-growth and life lessons actually materialised.
Here are the most important learnings from my first solo trip:
Eating or being alone is not embarrassing and no one cares.
While it is lovely to be enjoying a meal with people, going to places alone or being alone does not have to be embarrassing.
I used to think that people staring and secretly judging you is what makes it so shameful, but it is entirely made up in your own head.
Before this trip, I go eat at a restaurant alone and my self conscious and self deprecating thoughts will immediately come up. While sometimes there may be some people that stare for a moment, no one actually cares enough to think about it for longer than a few seconds. They are so occupied with their lives and conversations that they could care less about you.
By the first dinner I had on my trip, the self conscious thoughts died down and I felt genuienly comfortable being alone in all places. It felt odd because I never imagined that I could feel that way. I also felt incredibly proud that I could surprise myself in that way.
I was feeling so bold that I sat down and ordered 2 servings of samgyeopsal (pork belly) for myself in a restaurant in Sokcho.
For those who don’t know, KBBQ is one of the least solo friendly meals you can have in Korea. While I was planning the trip, I totally gave up on having KBBQ at all since I knew it would be difficult. I’m not sure what was going on in my head but I had this newfound courage to try it out. I simply imagined that the worst they can say is no or that I would have to eat a huge portion. What actually happened was:
The waiter served me normally.
I ordered 2 portions since that was the min order.
No one in the restaurant cared or stared.
I finished most of the meat since I was starving.
Learning languages pays off big time
I’ve been learning Korean on Duolingo for fun for 2 years now. I started because I watch a lot of K-dramas and I simply wanted to understand a bit more of the dialogue to make it more enjoyable.
It turns out that my efforts were not just limited to improving my K-drama viewing experience.
During the trip, I challenged myself to conversing mostly in Korean with service staff and tried to read Hangeul characters on menus or signs.
Although my Korean was very broken, I managed to order and respond to some basic questions. It was lovely to immerse myself with the locals, especially in a smaller city like Sokcho which is around 3 hours away from Seoul. I even had full on conversations with strangers as well (more on that in part 3!).
Being able to understand the language even partially opened up so many more possibilities. When I really didn’t understand, I also found that observing body language, following what people are doing around you, and using apps such as Papago/Google Translate can also go a long way.
Quick tip: Asking for a photo is an easy way to strike up a conversation. When you make an effort, it works most of the time.
Once I got more comfortable with navigating my way through situations where communication is difficult, I gained more confidence in my abilities to get through tough times and figure out how to interact with most people I encountered.
I finally saw how much language can help you unlock so much more from your travels and your life. So it felt really great to know that it was worth the time and effort.
You change when you start trusting your decisions
During this trip, I had to place complete trust in my decisions. Whether it was speed planning the entire trip just 2 days before or making spontaneous decisions in a foreign country, I relied solely on my instincts and plans. With no one to book accommodations or decide on travel routes for me, every single decision from where to stay to which drink to buy at the convenience store was on me.
While it would have been easy to go into ‘decision paralysis’ and doubt every choice, taking action and trusting my judgment made it a lot easier to prove to myself that I can make hard decisions.
I also knew that if I didn’t decide I would be wasting the trip and end up losing more than what I’ve already lost.
It also helped that my alone time allowed me to focus on my internal dialogue/self talk and turn that voice into more positive energy. If the restaurant I wanted to try was full, I simply search for another place, instead of beating myself up for not booking in advance. If I go off the wrong stop, I would just find my way again and bring myself down.
I didn’t let the doubt take over. By shortening the time between preparation or research and action, I focused on what was right in front of me.
Finally, on this trip I learned what it means to prioritise me and what I want to do.
And if what I want is difficult, I will figure it out.
There are many things on this trip that happened and I never imagined myself doing, such as a solo hike. Things happen when you keep promises that you make to yourself — it can be truly life changing.
Viv’s collection
📺TV shows I’ve been loving
A refreshing romcom limited series and a super quick watch. If you loved The O.C or The Good Place, you will feel very nostalgic. Seth Cohen and Eleanor Shellstrop iykyk
This was so addictive to watch and very touching at points. I love food, and cooking has always been something I really want to get into. It is such an entertaining version of a cooking competition and it uses the formula of the wildly successful Physical 100. It makes me really want to try all the restaurants the chefs own/work at.
🎵Music I’ve been listening to
Requiem Keshi’s new album — My fave songs are Soft Spot and War.
📻 Podcast episode worth listening to
Modern Love podcast episode with Andrew Garfield
I’m so excited for his film We Live in Time (an A24 movie) that I already watched the interviews with him and Florence Pugh. It was so lovely to hear him read a Modern Love essay and open up about his thoughts on grief and life. I’m definitely trying to incorporate the practice of the Best Part, Worst Part in my daily life.
In case you missed it: In my last newsletter, I shared how I got better at analysing results post-experiment.
A question for you!
Where do you want to visit next?
Always open to learning more and hearing from you 😊
Thanks for reading!
Stay inspired,
Viv