Hi friends,
Happy holidays!
As wonderful as this holiday season has been so far, I’m using this quiet and slow morning to unwind and note some of the learnings from 2024.
Sort of a “things I know to be true” list.
Writing these down here will hopefully mean that I won’t have to relearn any of these lessons in the new year.
But realistically, some of the things we learn now may take months or years to really sink in, and I’m sure I will make a lot more mistakes that will help me relearn these lessons.
I hope this can also serve as a reminder of all the silent growth that has been happening in the background, the hidden struggles, and battles won this year.
You can and should take up space.
Go first, speak up, take that opportunity. You don’t always need to let the others go first.
Start living expansively regardless
This is the year that I finally realised that we are always in a constant state of change and healing. Life will pass you by if you wait until you are fully healed, changed, or ready.
What does fully healed even mean?
I don’t think we are ever fully healed.
The damaged part of you simply seems smaller in comparison to your healthy or fulfilled part.
We all have hidden or visible scars, complicated pasts, and emotional baggage. But that doesn’t mean you need to live small.
You can live abundantly and expansively starting right now.
You may feel insecure, scared, and triggered. But you will handle it when it comes.
Self trust and belief is so powerful
Rebuilding that self trust has been super important to me. I truly felt the full power of that this year. It bleeds into everything you do.
You don’t become fearless. But it really does feel like no matter what happens you know you will be okay.
It takes real effort to make things happen
Especially in a city that is always hustling.
And social media feeding you the myth that everyone is somehow always around people or always busy.
They make it seem effortless to connect with others or make things happen irl.
It truly takes effort to reach out to friends, plan that get together, and build that community.
It is way too easy to just live passively and let life slip past.
But it is worth the effort.
The challenge is making it as easy for you to put in the effort. Make it more frictionless. Surround yourself with people who will make the effort too.
Say your piece and allow others react
While you should think before you speak, being overly worried about how other people will react to it won’t do you any good.
Taking local transport is an underrated way to learn about a place.
While my favourite way to learn about a place is trying local food, I think taking their transportation is often overlooked.
Taking the train from NYC to Boston, taking the ferry and trams in Hong Kong, renting a car in socal.
You start to understand how and why people live the way they live. How the area is constructed to facilitate these lifestyles.
If not local transport, walking or running in a new place is also a great way to explore a new place.
Student life has its perks, but adult life has been more exciting
I loved being a student. I loved being able to explore so many random topics and having a flexible schedule. But I do think that stepping away from the academic ladder or structure has really helped me relearn that my value doesn’t come from how well I do academically. Post grad/adult life is scarier and uncertain but also I’ve really grown into myself more.
Take your feelings seriously but not literally
This year I finally got to a point where I was actively feeling my feelings. I’m proud of myself for this since growing up I suppressed a lot and didn’t really deal with my feelings until they became really overwhelming. Now, the next step is to take them seriously but not literally.
Feel them fully, but remember you can choose how to respond.
In the new year, I want connect with how I’m feeling but focus on what they are trying to tell me or teach me. Journalling has been especially helpful in this regard.
“I’m just anxious right now because of this. But I’m not an anxious person that cannot do X…”
“I’m sad at the moment because of... But I’m not sad person that cannot be happy..”
There's no need to overidentify. And these feelings will not last forever.
It's all part of being alive and human.
Keep writing
Keep writing even when it is difficult to put your thoughts in to fully formed sentences. You will feel better and at least work out something when you write. It is a bonus that people will get to read your stories. While you may want to make this a source of income, you are in it for the long haul just keep writing. Side note - this is my 70th post how crazy is that!
There is value in doing things that don’t scale
I took this from a Y Combinator value because it holds true not just in business but in life.
Do things that are different, “not traditionally ambitious” that may not have immediate rewards.
Just as small businesses take time to treat each of their customers, you can take the time to do things that may not be sustainable in the long term. It is in those “slower” moments where you will learn, heal and change you in ways that straight hustling day in day out will not.
They “scale” in a way that builds your character, resilience, healthiest or best version of you.
Trust that this meandering will help you.
Viv’s collection
📕 Content that resonated with me
2024 sucked? Don’t worry, it’s just you! - Sarah Noack
tryhard - Jasmine Sun
In case you missed it: In my last newsletter, I shared why I write holiday cards every year.
A question for you!
What’s a lesson you learned this year?
Always open to learning more and hearing from you 😊
Thanks for reading!
Stay inspired,
Viv
Love thiss! A very good reflection/reminder for this time of the year!